House Rules / Regras da Casa

Before we went down to Brazil last November, Kim and I talked a lot about "rules" for our family. We wanted to have rules for our children which were simple, easily remembered, and...well...Biblical! At that time, we started with only four rules which we laid down on day one: show respect, obey the first time, ask permission, and stick together.

Over the past five months as a family, we have talked about these four rules on and off, but recently we decided to formalize them, write them down, and post them in our house. With this formalization, we have the added two more rules to our original four, out of necessity, I suppose. (Even though I think they easily fall under "respect," this connection is a bit nuanced for a child, though, necessitating the extra rules!)

I'm posting, below, the rules as they appear on our little sheet, as well as some notes about each, based on how we think about them and talk about them with the kids. Scripture verses are from the New International Version (NIV) in English and the Nova Versão Internacional (NVI) in Portuguese.

House Rules / Regras da Casa

As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.

Mas, eu e a minha família serviremos ao Senhor.

(Joshua/Josué 24:15)

Under the "House Rules" heading, we wrote this well-known verse from Joshua. We explained to the kids that, as a family, we are supposed to serve the Lord. After all, it was God who brought us together as a family. Our choice--our job--is to serve him every day. All of the rules that we have as a family come out of this attitude of service and gratitude to God.

Show Respect / Mostra Respeito

Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.

Tratem a todos com o devido respeito: amem os irmãos, temam a Deus e honrem o rei.

(1 Peter/1 Pedro 2:17)

I think we really only have one rule in our house: respect. We told the kids that respect is really the most important of our rules, and that's why we always put it first. They are to respect us, we are to respect them, and we're all supposed to respect God.

When we explained this to them most recently, I mentioned the scripture from the Gospel where Jesus boils down all of the Judaic law into: love God and love your neighbor. I explained that love and respect are tied very closely in this context. For both love and respect, God always comes first, followed by our neighbors (by which we are really talking about everyone around us, from our family and friends, to the strangers we meet on the street).

Our "respect" rule is kind of like this scripture. Really, all of our other rules can be boiled down to something very simple: respect. If you understand respect, you understand all of the others regardless of their particular nuances. Did you disobey? Disrespect to parents. Did you hit your sister? Disrespect to sibling. Did you whine at your teacher? Disrespect authority. Oh, and by the way, all of these things disrespect God too! (Which is why after a time-out, all of the kids have to not only apologize, but ask God for forgiveness too.)

Obey the First Time / Obedece a Primeira Vez

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Filhos, obedeçam a seus pais em tudo, pois isso agrada ao Senhor.

(Colossians/Colossenses 3:20)

Sometimes we have trouble with obediance, not because the kids never do what we ask them to do, but because they do what we ask the second or third time. Many times, we don't even give them the grace of a second or third asking, and put them straight into time-out if they don't obey the first time. I once heard, I think from a friend, but I can't remember who, "to delay is to disobey." This little saying really keys into why it's important to insist that your children obey when asked the first time. Although I imagine some parents have a hard time following through (me included!), there really can be no argument about requiring and enforcing obedience. The Bible clearly states that children are commanded by God to obey their parents (both in the Colossians passage above and in Ephesians 6).

Ask Permission / Pede Permissão

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Peçam, e lhes será dado; busquem, e encontrarão; batam, e a porta lhes será aberta.

(Matthew/Mateus 7:7)

OK, so the Matthew 7:7 passage doesn't exactly have to do with asking permission, but I think it serves as a valuable illustration of the principle for the kids nonetheless. Sure, on the practical level, they need to ask permission so that they won't get sick eating Easter candy on the sly. But on the spiritual level, they need to ask permission because we are their parents, and they need to respect us. Asking us permission shows us respect and acknowledges that (below God, of course), we are the providers of their needs, wants, and desires. We told them that we don't insist on asking permission because we always want to say "no," but because we want to say "yes" as well! We insist on asking permission, probably more now than we always will. But especially after the miracle of adoption, it is important for them to learn, on a practical level, that we are really their parents and really making these decisions.

Stick Together / Fica Juntos

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

O Deus que concede perseverança e ânimo dê-lhes um espírito de unidade, segundo Cristo Jesus, para que com um só coração e uma só voz vocês glorifiquem ao Deus e Pai de nosso Senhor Jesus Cristo.

(Romans/Romanos 15:5-6)

This was a very important rule for practical reasons at the beginning. We were in a foreign country we'd never been to, speaking a language we weren't good at, going around a city we didn't know with kids we'd just met (but who God had planned for us for eternity, praise the Lord!). But with this new iteration of the rules, we've spiritualized it a bit to add some important Biblical depth to the rule. We're not just supposed to stick together as a family because it's easier to keep track of four kids in a crowded mall that way, but because God has graciously given us a "spirit of unity" when he planned this family an eternity ago. As a family, we should glorify the Lord with our hearts and minds as one!

Be Honest / Seja Honesto

The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.

O Senhor odeia os lábios mentirosos, mas se deleita com os que falam a verdade.

(Proverbs/Provérbios 12:22)

A recent addition. Seems like this should be pretty self-explanatory, but it's not! The verbal part about being honest is easy (and usually easily verifiable), but it's the other parts which are hard. The parts where pretending one thing to be deceptive is being dishonest. We're still working on this one, but again, the Bible is very clear: God hates lying!

Do Not Whine / Não se Reclama

Do everything without complaining or arguing.

Façam tudo sem queixas nem discussões.

(Philippians/Filipenses 2:14)

Another recent addition. I was actually wondering how to make are recently-required "no whining" rule Biblical. Until a good friend of mine said, "oh yeah, like Philippians 2:14!" Hallelujah for God's word! It certainly bears more weight when God says we should do something without whining than when our parents say it, yuck! This rule goes many times hand-in-hand with the obedience rule when we have to gently remind our kids of our expectations!

Reminders for Parents / Lembretes Para os Pais

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Instrua a criança segundo os objetivos que você tem para ela, e mesmo com o passar dos anos não se desviará deles.

(Proverbs/Provérbios 22:6)

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Pais, não irritem seus filhos; antes criem-nos segundo a instrução e o conselho do Senhor.

(Ephesians/Efésios 6:4)

The kids loved that there was a part for parents at the bottom of the new rule sheet! I explained to them that the first scripture was important because it was reminding us as parents why we need to be teaching them about God, Jesus, and Godly living now, so that when they are adults in charge of their own families, they will be able to lead their own family following the Lord's path.

Personally, I think the second scripture is one of the most important for Christian parents to remember. I'm sure that many parents would be quite comfortable telling their kids that God desires children to obey their parents (like in Colossians, or in the beginning of Ephesians 6), but they might be hesitant to point the finger at themselves by completing the thought in Ephesians 6. As much as our children have the Godly responsibility to obey us, God requires us, as parents, not to exasperate our children. I explained to the kids that this scripture reminds us as their parents that we need to stay patient with them, respectful of them, watching our tone when we ask them to do things or speak to them, etc. And why do we do this? Why are we supposed to be careful not to exasperate our children? Because instead we are supposed to focus bringing them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. If we constantly exasperate them by our tone of voice or our lack of respect for each other or them, we are not being an example of God as our Father and Christ as our Savior. We are showing them something entirely different: that it is OK to be impatient with their children, to yell over little things, to discipline out of anger instead of love...

Parenting is hard. Christian parenting is even harder! But we know that God put our family together this way for a reason, and we try to do our best, with God's grace daily, to lead our family in God's will.

She wants more information... again

The judge made another request for more information. This time she wonders about our financial situation. So, we tallied up all of our monthly earnings (again) and checking and savings account totals (again) and explained to her how very careful we've been in the last several years to plan financially in preparation for becoming parents. We sent off our responses in the middle of the night and Luciana sent them to Lino first thing Thursday morning. Dayse, the psychologist, wanted to bring the translated answers to the judge right away.

Deep breath.

We're glad to know that she's working to make a decision, but weary of all these redundant questions. We imagine we're just a little closer to her response, though. We trust God for a "yes" but when we hear things like this from a good friend who has walked a parallel road from the El Salvador program to adopt two older children from Colombia, we can't help but feel that family's pain and dread.

Lord, Have your way.

Bending Hearts

I am thankful that God is giving me peace these days. A couple weeks ago we definitely felt the claws of despair gripping us and trying to drag us downward when we know we ought to be focusing upward. Somehow, God gives us moments of peaceful clarity and trust in His plan. It is beyond my understanding.

Our church has been in the process of searching for a new senior pastor since our previous pastor received a call to another church six months ago. James is on the search committee and so we have been praying a lot for God to make His plan for our church very clear to the elders and committee members. My prayer lately has been to lead the church to seek only Him, desire only Him, and bend our hearts to Him. It is so easy in this situation, and in the process of waiting for our children, to focus on PASTOR or CHILDREN so much so that I take my eyes off God. I must bow my heart only to Him and be satisfied within His presence... no matter the outcome of these circumstances.

I always wondered how the Israelites in Exodus could forget God so quickly and so often. It always struck me as almost comical that God could part the seas and provide bread from the heavens and water from rocks and lead them daily through the desert in a pillar of clouds or fire... and the next thing they do is grumble, or complain, or doubt or rebel or seek idols instead of God. Funny, right? How could they be so thick? God even calls them "stiff-necked people" Confession time: I'm that thick. Thicker, maybe. Last Tuesday I sat to write this post feeling amazing peace and confidence. That same night, we heard from Luciana that the Psychologist hadn't finished the report for the judge yet and I lost it. Cried for hours and convinced myself that I'd probably never meet my children. Completely fell off the wagon into doubt and despair. Then this past weekend at the LIMIAR reunion, I started feeling confident in God's plan again. But today, one more time, I succumbed to bitterness of heart and frustration with the waiting... even anger at God for making me wait though I plead with Him daily to take this cup from me. This roller coaster is worse than 40 years in the desert.

So, what is the answer? The answer is that God knows what His children need. He knows the moment it needs to happen and he knows how to sustain me when I am beyond my own strength to stand up. The answer is to be content with just God. The answer is to bend my heart only to Him and to be wholly satisfied in Him alone.

Easier said than done... and easier for this Kim now than it was for the Kim of 3 years ago.

Lord, help me. Be my everything. Quench my thirst and bend my heart to you alone.

Hope

We're getting to the end of July, 2009 and still don't know when we are going to go meet our precious children. The latest estimate is sometime in September. That's because even after the judge decides to grant our petition, there is still a tangle of red tape to sort out.

• Judge decides
• Submits decision to CEJA
• If it's a "yes" CEJA creates a document called a "Letter of Invitation" (LOI)
• A copy of that letter comes to us so we can get visas, a quick 2-day process
• The letter itself goes to the US consulate in Rio
• The consulate apparently has to send it up to the US to... USCIS
• USCIS approves our I-800 which ensures visas for each of the children
• Meanwhile, Lino makes our court appointments and we make our travel arrangements

That whole thing will probably take 2-3 weeks, but no one really knows because no one has ever done it before. The I-800 process is a new one and we were going to be the first Brazil family to go through it. However, we're told that another AWAA family is beating us to the finish line and will adopt their children soon. They are currently in the pre-travel document-push right now. Hopefully they will pave the way for us. And if things go well, we may overlap some time in Brazil with them.

The thing is that before the judge decides, she will have to receive a report from CEJA's psychologist, Daisy. All the letters (13 of them!) and answers to questions that we sent to Luciana on Monday (July 20) were translated by Lino and another helper that same day and taken to CEJA on Tuesday (the 21st). The psychologist needs to put all of that information into a report (even though I think it would have been easier and just as effective to put it into a folder!) for the judge. Having read all 13 letters from our friends and family and having easily answered all the judge's questions with very well-reasoned and heart-felt answers, We really think that the only thing the Psychologist can say in her report is, "This is clearly the family God has chosen for these four children."

So, everyone is feeling very positive about the future outcome of this process. We all feel like the Judge is looking for reasons to say YES, not reasons to say NO and that she will eventually say yes.

Last Wednesday when Luciana suggested that we might need to move on and look for other referrals... that was really the pit of despair for us. We had dinner that night with our friends Rose and Marcelo. We had dinner with them again this Wednesday and they commented that we seemed much more joyful and less burdened. It's true. We went through that moment of darkness, sustained by God's grace and the purpose He has given us (that's YOU, my children!) and we are now filled with hope.

We WILL be a family. Hopefully, after the LOI is written, Lino will be able to get us some updates on the children... more pictures, clothing sizes, more info! That will make the time go so much faster.

We missed Maynara's 10th birthday in April not long after we knew these were the children God had for us, and it looks like we'll miss Brayan's 4th birthday at the beginning of August too. This is sad for us, but we are focusing on all the birthdays and everydays that we'll celebrate when they are finally our sons and daughters.

Another thing that has been encouraging is the tremendous outpouring of love and prayers and support from our friends and family and some blogland people we have never met. We feel like we've really grown during the last 3 years and we are looking forward to the stretching growth we'll experience as parents.

The gears are turning--slowly

We heard yesterday that the head of CEJA went to see the judge and pushed for an answer. Seems the judge did not take the papers hoe last week when we heard that she had, but now she says she will and CEJA feels like this is a positive, even though the judge still thinks of us as too young for "all those children." So, we ask all of our friends to continue PRAYING that God will nudge the judge to make the right decision.

So, the gears are turning ever so slowly. But I guess sometimes the the slowest gears accomplish the most work.

My dear children,

We are not giving up on you because God has placed you in our hearts and we trust that He will place you in our family as a place where you can grow and be loved and become the men and women that He wants you to be. We also trust Him to make us the parents he wants us to be. It will be hard for you to leave your Brazilian home, but we know that if God does this, he has big plans for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Mamãe e Papai

Not giving up

As the agonizing imminence drags on, doubt creeps in and we wonder what God is up to. Will the judge ever decide on our petition? Why is CEJA, once so eager to push our case through, now asking us to be patient a little longer? Why can't anyone get any straight answers? What if the judge delays another week, 2 weeks, or another month or longer? Can our hearts take it? Did we hear our call correctly? When will God put our family together?

Luciana is concerned about our hearts and how much longer we can and should continue to wait for an answer before we consider the unthinkable--moving on. During a very kind and personal talk with her today, she seemed to be preparing us for the worst. Here are some of the down-heartening gems that came out of that conversation:

• We've never had to wait this long before.
• We don't understand what CEJA is doing.
• The head of CEJA is in charge of this part of the part of the process, she has been doing her job for a long time and she's personal friends with the judge. And still nothing moves.
• Lino is mad and frustrated.
• Would you like me to look for some more referrals for you?
• Now is the time to pray and have faith.
• If this goes on for another week, we should probably move on to other referrals.
• No one understands God's plan (followed by a long, sad, story about a family who suffered years of infertility followed by a heartbreaking miscarriage--and years later the children God planned for that family).

I realize that this is one serious downer of a list and that this kind of mood is atypical of the character of the record we've sought to keep here. However, this is real and we really want this the story to be recorded just as it is unfolded by its Author. And the really real reality right now is that we're in the pits. So I'm writing from the pits so that our children will one day know that we didn't give up on them even on days when everything seemed to be going wrong and it would surely be easier to move on or give up. We did not choose to grow our family this way because we thought it would be safe or simple. We're not haphazardly trying to rescue children from their unfortunate situations. (We've always said we're not in the business of rescuing children--just finding the ones God made as our sons and daughters.) We are trudging through dark, mucky waters in the middle of deep forests filled with fog and uncertainty. But we are trudging because we know that the road will shape us and in the clearing there will be a family and a future of joy and many other blessings. We are trudging because we know that our children need us even more than we need them. We are trudging through because... what other option do we have? What parent would give up on their children?

I wish I could be strong enough to bear this burden joyfully. I feel like I have for a long time, and now I am just so weak from the long journey that I cannot bear it well.

Yesterday I read Genesis 19:16-21 where the angels of the Lord pull Lot and his family out of the city of Sodom before it was destroyed with fire. They had to bodily pull him out by the hand and they told him to flee to the mountains so he would be safe. He said to them, "But I can't flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I'll die. Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it—it is very small, isn't it? Then my life will be spared." And the Lord agreed to spare that small town and let Lot and his family go there instead of into the mountains. Of course God could have given them the strength and protection they needed to flee to the mountains. God wasn't asking him to flee to his death. But Lot felt that he was too weak to do what God asked of him. And that is exactly how I feel right now. I am begging the Lord to let me go somewhere closer, safer, easier... anywhere but the mountains.

Please, Lord. I'm too weak for that journey. You can spare us from it and make miracles happen. Nothing is too difficult for you. Thank you for sparing us from the fire and keeping us safe in your arms... but Lord don't make us go to the mountains.

VISION AND REALITY

The following is reprinted from Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest, July 6 entry, which I was directed to by Kerry Hassenbalg, who is a wise woman, well acquainted with heartache deeper than my own.

"And the parched ground shall become a pool." Isaiah 35:7

We always have visions, before a thing is made real. When we realize that although the vision is real, it is not real in us, then is the time that Satan comes in with his temptations, and we are apt to say it is no use to go on. Instead of the vision becoming real, there has come the valley of humiliation.

"Life is not as idle ore,
But iron dug from central gloom,
And batter'd by the shocks of doom
To shape and use."

God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we will have patience. Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality. Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape.

The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be. Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don't lose heart in the process. If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.

On God's timing

Philippians 3:3 tells us that we should be people "who worship by the Spirit of God... and... put no confidence in the flesh." And it's no wonder that the Bible talks so much about this battle between spirit and flesh. It's really happening in Christians all the time. I feel the tension every I pray for our family (and the several others I know who are waiting for their children--adopted and biological) to come together soon.

My flesh wants soon to mean NOW (with good reason and less than selfish motives), but my heart tells me that God's plan is perfect even if we have to wait for ten more years. Ultimately, I want what God wants (which is the thing that will bring him most glory on Earth) but at the same time I want my babies right away.

How can I reconcile these conflicting desires and how can I pray when neither request feels right? It seems impossible to know what to do.

I think it's right to tell the Lord the desires of our heart (I've waited for three years and I LONG to have my children here with me).

I think it's right to plead for the case of others (Lord, no child should have to grow up without a family. Bring them to us soon.)

I think it's right to submit to God's will (God, you plan is clearly better than mine. It is perfect and even if it hurts me, Lord, have your way in this situation.)

I think it's right to pour out our hearts to the Lord (I don't feel like I can wait any longer, I want to be in Brazil holding my children and telling them how much I love them... but I trust your wisdom, Lord, so hold us up while we wait.)

I also think it's right to take my mind off myself and focus on others who need God in their situations. (Lord, I am not the only mother waiting to hold her children. Work your mighty plan in my friends' families. Bring together the families you have designed for HS, JM, RA, LB, ST, BL, TM and all the ES families still waiting. Bring them together in quick and miraculous ways that will bring You glory.)

I have prayed all these prayers. I pray them constantly but I still don't know how to reconcile asking for what I desire with asking for God to do what He desires. However, I am beginning to think that somewhere in the sum of all those prayers and the ones being offered on behalf of our family by many others, must be something that pleases our Lord. Just talking to Him shows him that our hearts are fixed on Him and that is what He is looking for. Hearts devoted to Him.

So, I'm still torn between flesh and spirit, wanting and waiting, selfishness and service. I want to hear from the judge, buy plane tickets and go down to Brazil to become a mother--now. But at the same moment, I know I'm safe in the plan God has for our family. This is what it feels like to be living in the tension between spirit and flesh.

The Author of this process

The author of this adoption process is a crafty one.  There is no detail that He has overlooked, but there are plenty that He has not yet revealed.  Looking back on the last few years' events, many of them have been somewhat more drawn-out and complex than we initially imagined they would have been.  I have the distinct impression that the Author is bringing the story to a moment of literary climax and that after all of the hard-fought battles are over, there will be something unimaginably beautiful waiting for us.

All of these events have been important parts of our preparation to be parents and, though it's tempting to resent them, are experiences that we value and even treasure.  We still don't know how the rest of our story will play out, but we have a peace amidst the storm and we know we are safe within a perfectly crafted story.

• Starting the process (2006)--we actually had to wait until we'd been married 4.5 years to begin building our first dossier.
  
• El Salvador (2006-2008)--this process was full of surprises, and things in El Salvador stalled, we were left wondering what God had in mind for our family.  But only for a little while.
  
• Switching to Brazil (2008)--when we finally realized that our children were not in El Salvador, but in Brazil, we began the dossier process all over again.  
  
• Brazilian referrals (2009)--the referral process was so much more drawn out and complicated than we expected.  We saw referrals of several children and sibling groups before we understood that God had more than just a couple children waiting to make up our family.  
  
• Seeing our children for the first time (March, 2009)--We always thought that once we got a referral, it would be a downhill ride, but there has been much struggle to request that these children became our sons and daughters.  
  
• Petitioning to adopt (April, 2009)--We thought we would get a definite response, but discovered that there were several components to to that process and are still (in late-June, 2009) still waiting for the assurance that we will adopt them.  
  
• Judge on vacation (the entire month of June, 2009)--When will she look at our paperwork?  We do not know, but we know she has returned.
  
• CEJA moves to a new office (June/July, 2009)--What this will mean, we still do not know, but it's one more uphill step in this long and unpredictable climb.  
  

School in Connecticut has ended for the summer and our hope is that we will be on our way to Brazil soon for the climactic moment of this story.  If we leave any time in the next 3 weeks or so, we will be home on time for the new school year to begin.  To me, that sounds like perfect timing, but I am not the author of this story.  

Hebrews 12:2-3  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Crazy Love

Mary Jane Dunn recommended this book to me.  I devoured it in two days and am ready to change the world.  It has really opened my eyes to a new way of looking at God and His Word.  Here's why:

1.  God is Big.  Really, really big and powerful too.

2.  God gave EXTRAVAGANTLY to give us (and we're really small) a chance to be in a love relationship with Him.

3.  Our response to the extravagant love of God should be extravagant love and service toward others--for Him.

4.  That might be uncomfortable sometimes, but it's always better to love big than to love small or not at all.

Ready to talk

I titled this post several days ago.  Ready to Talk.  I guess I wasn't really.  I'm still not sure if I'm ready to talk, but if we're let God move us on, it's important to document where we've been and what we've learned.

We got our hearts tangled up in thinking about being parents to the two boys we petitioned for.  Maybe too much.  Maybe too soon.  We must have prayed for and about them for a hundred hours in the short time we knew about them, and we know that literally hundreds of loving friends and family members lifted our petition to God as well.  

So why aren't we angry at God for not answering our prayer?  We couldn't have prayed more.  Or more fervently.  Or with more faith.  Why?  Because God answers prayers His way, not ours.  And it's a good thing too.  We know what we want and what we wish for, but we don't know the whole story from beginning to end.  God's plans are perfect and they are meant to bring Him glory... not us.  In fact (after the disappointment wore off), I've felt more peace than I can understand.  If 10,000 prayers were offered asking God to have His way, and the answer is "no," then I am certain that this is what God chose for us.  Waiting a little longer.  And it's hard not to imagine that He will do something amazing in the wake of this disappointing answer to prayer.  We may not know what that is yet, but we are resting securely in knowing that His plans are better than ours and trusting that He will make our family whole.

We are grateful to our friends for all the encouraging words we heard during the last week.  We are blessed even when the answer is no.