We have an 11 year old!

Maynara's birthday was in the end of April and we still shake our heads in disbelief that we're parents of an 11 year old.  We're also being careful not to blink for fear of opening our eyes to a 22 year old.

We are 6 months into being parents and we are still working hard to figure out what makes each of our children tick.  Figuring out Maynara may be our biggest challenge.  In some ways, she's very much like any typical 11 year old--trying to look her best, starting to notice boys but not really interested yet, making friends and drama with friends, wanting to venture into independence but needing to hold on to mom and dad... typical, right?  But there's a depth to our daughter that we're only beginning to understand.  She has a precious level of emotional maturity coupled with a strong need to be loved as a child.  She is a sensitive soul under a somewhat crispy exterior.  She is a deep thinker with a sensitive spirit and a great sense of empathy and justice.

Shortly after her birthday we had a few very difficult and frustrating weeks, but we seem to have come through that and have a much better window into who she is after a very open and tender phase following the challenging one.  

We loved her from the very beginning, but as we get to know her, we learn more and more to love.

Here are some pictures from her birthday party.  Notice a few things that make us smile:  She's stunningly beautiful (she likes mom to straighten her hair like this) and she loves chocolate cake!  (My cake-making skills are dramatically improving since my first pathetic attempt at a birthday cake for James  8 or 9 years ago--lucky for you, there are no pictures of that Fail.)

Maynara Rebekah

Tonight is our last night at Betania and in Curitiba.  Tomorrow morning we're off to Rio de Janeiro for our appointment at the U.S. Consulate next week.  All 6 of us will be staying with our friends the Moreiras in Rio for a week before heading home a few days before Christmas.  To wrap up our time Curitiba stay, we wanted to write one last bio.  Last but not least, our oldest.

Bio:

Maynara turned 10 at the end of April.  She is beautiful, independent-minded, strong-willed, and not afraid to tell you exactly what's on her mind, for better or worse!

Likes:

• Making her bed in the morning.
• Playing make-believe "office" with her siblings.  She always appoints herself office manager!
• Dolls, stuffed animals, Barbie, and Hello Kitty characters.  She calls them her "filhos" (children) and likes them nicely arranged on her bed at all times.
• Nice clothes.
• Singing.
• The Bible.  She has a lot of respect for the Bible and God's word (praise the Lord for preparing that in her heart for us!).
• "Mothering," disciplining, and telling her siblings what to do. (We're working on this one...)
• Taking videos with the video camera.
• Playing cards.
• Taking loooooooooong showers.
• Seconds at meal-time.
• Swimming.
• Coloring and drawing.

Dislikes:

• When other people touch her things.  Or sit on her nicely-made bed.
• Losing a game.  She's sometimes liberal with her playing techniques to ensure this does not happen.
• Don't let the picture of the butterfly on her finger fool you.  She's usually freaked out by butterflies!
• Not getting attention.
• Not being in control.

Greatest Hits:

• 
  
  Maynara didn't have a middle name, so before we came to Brazil we chose two names that we liked and thought were special and were going to let her choose when we arrived.  We thought we'd have time to have a nice discussion with her but found out on the way to the orphanage on the first day that we'd have to petition our children's new names that same day at the court!  We talked with her about the Biblical significance of a name change being part of a new life through God's grace, but after a brief conversation with her about the names we had chosen, it was clear that she was not really interested in them and instead had other ideas!  And so, on day one she picked a middle name for herself, a name she says she always wanted to name a daughter someday.
  
  
  
• Maynara enjoys doing her hair and changing clothes several times a day, especially before going "out."  She's been known to ask siblings and parents, "you're going out in that" if she thinks their outfit is not up to snuff before leaving the room!
• She likes to get up early, wake her siblings, and supervise their cleaning of their room and making of their beds before Mae and Pai wake up.  Unfortunately, some of her siblings don't like to get up as early as her, so she lays down a blanket on the floor and transfers them to them their so she can make their bed for them.

Maynara and Pai play Soco, Bate, Vira

Soco, Bate, Vira (Punch, slap, turn) is a song from a popular children's music artist, Xuxa (pronounced, shoo-sha). Think Barney for Brazilians.

Anticipation

Dear Maynara, Abraão Lucas, Luana, and Brayan,

I can hardly think about anything else but you lately, my loves! As it is now only a matter of weeks until we will be able to fly down and meet you, I find myself anticipating the union of our family more and more each day. It’s funny to think back almost six months to March when we first found out about you, and to think about all the many things that had to work to make us a family. Even when it was tough for us to wait for an answer from the judge, and even when I feared that the judge might say “no,” I tried to stay focused on you all, my loves, and tried trust in the knowledge that God would make sure we would be brought together as a family if He had planned it. And, boy, am I so happy that He did!

Even as I’m writing this letter to you, you probably don’t know anything about us yet, although we were told that you have been talking about families and are excited about the possibility of a family. I know when the time is right, Lino will come talk with you and he will be able to finally give you the gifts we prepared a few weeks ago for you: the photo books, the little stuffed elephants, and the shirts. (Can those silly little gifts really show you how much we love you!?) I daydream about that moment sometimes, wondering what each of you will think when you open the book for the first time to see the photos of us, your Mom and Dad. Or the pictures of your house here in Connecticut. Or the snapshots of Oscar, who I’m sure will be so happy to have you to play with when you get home!

But don’t worry, I’m trying not to romanticize that moment too much in my mind! In reality, I know you might be scared, too. I'm sure I would be a little scared if I were in your shoes! But I want you to know that it’s OK to be scared and excited at the same time. There are a lot of exciting things and a lot of new and unknown things just around the corner for all of us. The bottom line is that we’re going to be a family, and we’ll get through it all, fun times and tough times, together--no matter what.

A few nights ago I was looking at your photos as I lay in bed before falling asleep. Your Mom came in to bed after me and asked what I was doing. I told her “I’m just looking at the photos of our beautiful children.” She smiled and answered, “won’t it be nice to be able to peek in on them sleeping in their own beds once we're all home.”

Yes. Yes, it really will be.

Love,
Papai

Hearts a-pounding

We sure weren't expecting this!

But right after dinner, I found these beautiful photographs waiting for me in my inbox. Honestly, I've never seen more beautiful children. They've grown so much since 5 months ago when we first saw their pictures.

We're told that their "social mother said they are very curious and anxious about something to happen," but they haven't been told about their parents yet. The time must be just right so that we know we won't impose a stressful wait on them. That is a burden we must bear for them as their parents.

Soon, darlings, we're coming soon.

What next

During the last several months (OK, years) we've done a lot of wondering about "what's next." At this point, there's just a little bit of paperwork left before we travel to meet our children, and our "what's next" conversations almost always center around what it will be like when our family is finally all together. We have long conversations full of what I now call "mental nesting" where we try to figure out what the details of everyday life will be like, what sorts of expectations we'll have for our children, what will be important to us as a family, and how we'll convey all that to our children.

We're starting to gather the things we'll bring with us to Brazil, including special gifts for the children. We found a special locket for Maynara on Etsy. We want her to be able to hold it in her hands as a symbol of the importance of who she is and where she comes from, as well as our love for and dedication to her from now on. (These usually come with 3 interchangeable fronts, but the artist sent us 8!)  We also got her a nice journal and matching pencil case to be a safe place to record her thoughts and experiences as her whole life changes before her eyes.

We found a lovely, snuggly baby doll for Luana at PattycakeDoll.com, where they sell loads of multicultural dolls of all kinds. We hope that when she hugs it tight, it will still any fears or insecurities she may feel while her whole world is changing around her, and we hope it will remind her that her parents are always there to comfort her too.

Girls are easy to shop for, and we're still trying to think of just the right special gifts for our boys. Something that, when they put their hands on it, they can feel and remember who they are as individuals, in God, and as part of our family.

Another "what next" question is what to do with this blog. The purpose from the beginning has been to document the path God marked out for us to follow to our children, so that He can be glorified in the details and so that our children will have a record of all He did to bring us together. It's for them. However, soon we'll be traveling to Brazil and there are probably dozens (or hundreds) of faithful friends and family members who are going to want a front-row ticket to watch our family come together, and develop while we are away. This blog is probably the best way for us to do that, so I think its focus may shift slightly while we are away. But what about when we get back? What will its purpose be? I'd rather it not be a play-by-play mommy blog, because I feel like I'd be tempted to use too much of my energy on narrating our life. It will be more important for me to actively participate in every moment of this new life, but I'm not willing to give up this document--It's the first journal I've ever stuck to in my life, and I believe the recording of God's details has a way of making us notice them and live them more fully.

I know things will have to change here (as in every other corner of our lives), but I'm still not sure how they'll evolve. I've thought about writing letters to our children here. When we see God working in their lives, when we see them growing in special ways, or when we want to commemorate landmarks in their lives, we may write directly to them. I think that would keep me from the temptation of writing mere status-updates.

As with so much of what's next, I know enough to know that I have no idea what life will be like in another 4 or 6 weeks. But I'm planning on savoring every moment of it.

For the Record

Kim and I have been through many emotional and spiritual ups and downs over the past 4 months as we waited for an answer from the judge in Brazil regarding our petition to adopt Maynara, Abraão Lucas, Luana, and Brayan, and last night we received an answer to much prayer. For the record, I wanted to write about our experience last night as we learned that the judge said "yes" and granted our petition! Though we still have some "waiting" and paperwork to do before traveling to Brazil to meet our beautiful sons and daughters, we are in the "when" and not "if" stage. And, man, does it ever feel good!

Keep in mind as I tell this story that we have hardly been away from our e-mail for any significant length of time in the past four months. I have my e-mail open at work at all times and Kim has an iPod touch with wireless, which makes a little "ding" any time she receives and e-mail, so she has been checking constantly at home during the summer. Except for some odd times here and there, we probably haven't been away from our e-mail for more than 30 minutes at a time unless we were sleeping, sitting in church, or driving to Pennsylvania to see our parents. We have especially been following our e-mail pretty closely over the past few weeks, as we have had a couple of requests from the judge for more information, which wetired to turn around as quickly as possible each time. (All the while wondering how anyone ever got through this process without e-mail!)

Last night, however, I got home late, around 6:40, from work, and Kim had dinner prepared so we could eat before our friends came for Bible study at our house at 7:30 as they always do on Tuesdays. We sat on the porch enjoying our dinner, leaving our e-mail unattended for some time. We finished dinner, took the dishes to the kitchen and were going to take one more quick look at e-mail before people arrived when we saw something new in Kim's inbox:

Tuesday, August 11, 2009 6:44:52 PM

Re: no news yet [a leftover subject from previous correspondence]

Please call me on my cell right now

Lu

How could we have missed this e-mail by almost 45 minutes!? Not knowing what to expect, hoping for the best, dreading the worst, and hearts pitter-pattering, Kim grabbed her cell phone, put it on speaker, and called Luciana. Luciana answered, apologized for the background noise as her husband's family was visiting, and proceeded to talk to us about our petition.

I swear Luciana must have been watching too much American Idol or other reality TV shows, because the way she started out didn't sound good. Our hearts started to sink. In what must have been 10 seconds, but felt like 10 minutes, she said, "Now we've known all along that this has been in God's hands, and that He always knows what's best for each family. And you should keep this in mind as I tell you that..." That WHAT, Luciana, that WHAT! "...that they're yours!" Ours! We can call them "our" kids! Not just "the" kids! "And now we wait some more," she added. But that didn't matter. We were ecstatic, smiling from ear to ear, not even knowing what to say!

About that time, I saw a car pull up in front of our house. Our friends James and Mina were walking up to the house for Bible study. I ran to the front door, opened it and said, "we're on the phone with our adoption agency! The judge said yes! You're the first to know!" Kim talked with Luciana for another minute or so while Mina jumped up and down and James and Mina hugged and congratulated me.

After Kim hung up with Luciana, she called her family on her cell phone while I ran upstairs to call my family on my cell phone. Kim's parents were at a baseball game with 50 people from their church. Her Dad answered the phone, Kim told him the news, and he yelled, "She said yeeessssssss!" To which the whole of left field started shouting and celebrating. Those church folk of theirs have been praying along with Kim's parents for this for a long time.

I called my parents and my Mom answered. They are visiting family in Alabama and were on their way to have dinner with my Aunt and Uncle and their family. I told my Mom right away, she started crying, and told my Dad to pull over! We celebrated together with tears and smiles over many miles. She told me she has been carrying their picture everywhere and showing it to everyone.

I also updated my status on Facebook while I was upstairs on the phone. (Which explains the phone calls that we got during Bible study! Oops!) We got through Bible study nonetheless, prayed for the concerns of the group--and of course this great news!--and then proceeded to call our friends and family after everyone had left our house for the evening.

Whew. What an adventure. For many months I have been praying that the God would open the judge's heart to our petition and that she would see a family when she reviewed all of our paperwork, and not just a big stack of paper to deal with. It took about 4 months--far longer than we or our agency ever expected--but, with God's help, she finally did see a family! All the while, however, the petition has been in God's hands and His timing. We may not ever know why it took so long, but we trust in God's infinite wisdom that this was time well-used for His purposes and His kingdom.

Praise the Lord, for He is faithful!

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.

(Psalm 127:3)

Praise the Lord for Maynara!

Praise the Lord for Abraão Lucas!

Praise the Lord for Luana!

Praise the Lord for Brayan!

She said YES!!

The judge finally said YES to our petition to adopt our four children. We can finally call them ours!!!

And, because of this great news, we can finally introduce to you our two sons and two daughters:

Maynara (10), Abraão Lucas (7), Luana (5) and Brayan (4)

Praise God!!!

Psalm 105

¹ Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done.

² Sing to him, sing praise to him;

tell of all his wonderful acts.

³ Glory in his holy name;
let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.

⁴ Look to the LORD and his strength;
seek his face always.

Happy Birthday, Maynara

We're still holding steady at about 99% certainty that the 4 darlings we've written about will be our children. We are still hoping that June or July could be the time when we finally meet the ones we've prayed for, worked for and longed to love for so long. It has been almost 3 years since we started in on the process of looking for and adopting our children. To have their little faces to look at makes us love them even more.

Today is Maynara's 10th birthday. Hopefully it will be her last birthday apart from her forever family. We are thankful for the caring individuals who have loved and nurtured her during her first 9 years and we look forward to embracing her from her 10th year on. We are talking and dreaming of ways to give her a secure and joyful childhood while preparing her to live a fulfilling and giving life as an adult. Our hearts break being so far from her on this special day in her life.

Maynara,

We are getting ready for you. There is a spot in our hearts and in this home--especially for you. No one else can fill this place. What a special young lady you are! We cannot wait to welcome you home.