She glanced at our file while we were on the phone and noticed something that might turn out to be a problem with our homestudy and she has promised to call me on my cell phone by tomorrow to let me know if we will have to have our social worker do another home visit and amend our homestudy again. Everything I've read says that we should not have to do that, but she seemed iffy about it. So, she'll tell me tomorrow if I have to endure more interactions with our social worker.
I can be honest in this blog, right? This is the very first moment that I have felt the impatience, frustration, exasperation and exhaustion that so many adoptive families have told me were recurring themes of their adoption process. It has been just about two and a half years since we started this process by choosing an adoption agency, and something about my conversation with Anita M. today walloped my spirit somethin' fierce. I'm trying not to wallow in self-pity here, but the truth is that if it really takes her another week and a half to finish reviewing our case--even if it's approved after that--we probably won't get the official letter until the week before Christmas, leaving it nearly impossible to notarize, certify and legalize it before the first of the year. Meanwhile, another Christmas goes by during which our children do not know that they have parents waiting for them with all their hearts.
There have been headaches, time crunches, and days during which I felt like a chicken running around with its head cut off, but there have been few tears shed about this process so far--it's a process--anyone can wait one more day, right? Well, at the moment I can't muster up any hopeful sayings to re-inflate my sagging heart.
So, pray. Please pray as you read this that Anita M. and her trainees will catch the vision that their work is worth far more than paper-pushing. Pray that they are motivated by the true fact that in their hands they hold the hopes and dreams and futures of children and families. Pray that the true gravity of what they do each day will motivate them to work quickly and with purpose for all the families whose lives sit in manila folders on their desks. And pray that after reading our papers carefully, they will be able to confidently approve our file.
I haven't forgotten the purpose of this blog. I am writing even these tearful words and pleas for prayers for them. They need to know that our hearts break each day we're not with them and that every delay feels like an eternity to us and that our family is not complete until they are in it. I think it's good that they see the hurt along with the hope.
3 comments:
Hi Kim,
I just wanted to let you know that I'll be praying for you and James and for your case worker and the trainess. Hope you hear back from her very soon, and with good news.
Jill
Hi Kim,
I wish I was there to give you a big hug and pray with you and James for your kids.
Todd and I will be praying specifically that things can move along smoothly and quickly with the case worker and her trainees. Maybe it's a good thing that she's using your case as an training tool. At least it means that she is reviewing it and it is not stuck somewhere out of sight. (I know it's not much of a consolation, as it would have been so much better if they were "just now reviewing it" 3 months ago, but at least they're on it now.
We'll be praying that your case will be the one that shows the newbies how quickly the approval process can be when the system works. We love you and we can't wait to see how God chooses to work through this situation.
Love,
Rachel
Oh, Kim, I am so so sorry that your path feels so hard right now. From a human perspective, of course, you have every right to be frustrated and exhausted by this process, but I pray that you can find rest and peace in the midst of exasperating circumstances. And of course that the process will move forward with miraculous speed!
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