This is the place where we are have documented the road we have walked in order to adopt our four children from Brazil and the road we are now on as a family. We are keenly aware that adopting is not just a process we've chosen to go through, but part of God's plan for us and for our children. May He be glorified through the process and through our family!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Distracted / Soon

I just wanted to confess here on this page that I'm distracted.  Those who know me best would say that "distracted" is not too far off of my normal pattern of behaviors, but even aside from my normal scattered personality, I'm a different kind of distracted.  I'm distracted from my normal, everyday activities by the thought that my children are somewhere other than here with me and that I am doing useless activities that do not involve mothering.  

Usually, I keep this journal pretty upbeat, hopeful and positive, but lately (the last few weeks) I've had trouble thinking about anything other than my darling children--whoever they are.  I know that we are closer than we've ever been to knowing our children and falling in love with them--and I'm thankful for that.  But there seems to be a magnetic pull that comes along with getting closer to that day.  It pulls my mind and my heart in that one direction all the time.  

Could this have something to do with another birthday approaching?  Another year gone by full of questions and short on answers?  2 years, 7 months going by since submitting our first dossier?  Something about a "biological clock" telling me it's time to mother?  Emotions going haywire because of the possibility (POSSIBILITY) that this long wait could soon be over?  Oh, I don't know.  

I talked on the phone with a dear woman from our church the other day.  She is one of those prayer warriors who, I swear, has a direct line to God.  (Let's not get into theology here... I know about the priesthood of all believers.)  She is a woman who is continually on her knees and faithful to lift her heart and her cares to the Lord.  She asked me how she could pray for us.  She told me in sweet lullaby tones that I could ask her to pray for anything, and that she would lift it to the Lord.  Sweet saint.  I told her that I wanted her to pray that it would be SOON that we would meet our children.  Wise sister.  She told me that surely the Lord had purposes and that He was using this time to prepare us in every way that He needed us to be prepared.  Darling friend.  I told her that I was thankful that God has allowed us this time to grow in Him and to learn and be prepared.  I told her that I was thankful that God has allowed us to be conscious of the blessing of this time and grateful for every minute of it--really!  I asked her to pray that it would be SOON.  She reminded me that the Lord's timing is perfect.  Yes.  It is.  I trust that with all my heart.  And I asked her to pray that it would be very soon.  

Soon for my heart's sake, yes.  But soon for my children who have spent today without the love of a mother and father and will go to sleep tonight in a temporary home.  Pray that it will be soon.

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