This is the place where we are have documented the road we have walked in order to adopt our four children from Brazil and the road we are now on as a family. We are keenly aware that adopting is not just a process we've chosen to go through, but part of God's plan for us and for our children. May He be glorified through the process and through our family!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Suitcase musings.

My mind works best in the practical, tangible, feet-on-the-ground sort of realm.  It's hard to think concrete thoughts about our family, our children, or the way our life will be when there are still so many unknowns.  Who are our children?  Where do they live?  How old will they be when they come home with us?  What do they like and dislike?  What has their life been like so far?  What stories will I read them and what stories have they been read?  

With all these practical questions yet to be answered, my mind tends to wander to things like my suitcase.  What will I pack in a suitcase for a 6 week-long trip to meet my children for the first time?  What what size clothes to bring for them?  What toys will they enjoy playing with?  How will we keep them content and occupied on the plane on the long trip home?  These trivial, practical questions are the ones my mind keeps shifting back to.  

It doesn't matter, I tell myself.  The things I bring are not going to make a difference in the lives of my children.  

That realization brings to the foreground many more questions--somewhat harder to grasp ahold of.  How will we communicate with our children?  What will we say?  Will they be excited to meet us?  How long will it be before they love us?  Will they always lean on each other for support and strength, or will they learn to run to us their us for shelter?  How will we experience Brazil together in a meaningful way?  How will we continue to experience being Brazilian once we arrive home?  

The truth is that there is not one question on this page that I know then answer to, and if I did not know that the Lord is in control and that He alone is the creator of both the Universe and our family, I would be petrified.  This is not an easy life that we have chosen.  There are probably at least a thousand more questions that haven't even occured to me yet, and I don't know the answer to those either.  The one answer I have is that God has chosen our children to be a part of our family.  He has chosen us to be a part of their lives.  We will do our best to honor His call to love and parent those He will bring to us so that their lives will one day reflect His Love and Grace.  That will be a gift that cannot be packed into a suitcase.