Quilt #3 and Quilt #4

Grandmothers and roses are much the same. Each are God's masterpieces with different names.

-- Author Unknown


Well, thanks to two very talented, dedicated and patient grandmas, both of our little girls now have their very own hand-made quilts.  The design is the same as the first two quilts, but the boarders are a little more feminine for our girls.  Making a quilt like these is such a big undertaking.  From tracking down all the squares that were necessary, to cutting and trimming and sorting it all out, to stitching and ironing, to tying and binding... there's nothing easy about it.  We are both fortunate to have talented and crafty mothers.  But we're really lucky to have them because of the great deal of love they have poured into our lives for the past 30 years, and the great deal of love they are already pouring into their grandparenting.  

Isaiah 52:7

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"

Present for Abraão Lucas

Abraão Lucas' present is a beautiful handmade wooden airplane from Chicory Wood Products in Wisconsin. We are hoping that as he plays with this beautifully crafted toy, we will have conversations about the long plane ride ahead, what it will be like, and what that trip home means for him and for us as a family. Together we go home and together we remain--no matter what.

So, we've now found special, symbolic gifts for all of our children. We have clothes in their closets and toothbrushes ready to go next to the sink. And we have hearts so full of love for these sweet children that we are about to burst--with joy or impatience. Our agency thinks we should have a court date in a week or two, and then travel in another week or so after that. Middle of October, maybe. Of course, we've learned to hold manmade timelines VERY loosely, but we are hopeful that we are really only weeks away from finally meeting our children for the first time and beginning a very different kind of life from that moment forward.

Present for Brayan

We've spent a considerable amount of time planning special, meaningful gifts for each of our children.  We wanted to be sure that we gave them something during our first days together that would be a tangible reminder of who we are as a family.  We are hoping this brave but super-cuddly lion stays with Brayan for years to come, and reminds him as he hugs its fuzzy little neck that it's OK to feel scared or lonely sometimes... and that Mom and Dad will always be there to comfort him and give him the courage he needs to keep on growing--no matter what.  

Here's the sweet lion posing with some USCIS approval envelopes!

Paperwork Progress

Someday, my life will be dedicated to children and not to paperwork.  It's looking like that day will be very soon... but it hasn't come yet.  We waited for a notarized original Visa Letter to arrive from Brazil.  It came in record time and we immediately realized why the Brazilian consulate would not accept the copy we initially brought them.  Just look at it!  It has an original signature with a "Notary" arrow pointing to it, a printed notary declaration with signature, a very official looking sticker with two different stamps on it, and a raised seal initialed for authenticity.  This is one seriously official letter.  If this is what they were expecting at the consulate, it's obvious why a copy wouldn't suffice. 

We're also ecstatic to be in possession of four USCIS "Provisional Approvals."  One for each child.  We're not quite sure why a second set arrived today, but we're still very glad to have them.

Being Present, Savoring, Investing

A few weeks ago, I had a great talk witha friend about "being here now."  It sure is funny how, no matter where we are, we always dream of being somewhere new... or somewhere old.  What if I had chosen this or that?  What if X hadn't happened?  What if I had accomplished Y?  If only I felt happier or safer or braver.  If only my prayers had been answered.  All of this worry takes our eyes off of the beauty of the present moment, and I think that no matter how frustrating, scary, stressful or unexpected now is, it has got to have some beauty built into it.  Even if it's something little (although, I think the beauty is always bigger than we think it will be).  It's probably always best to "be here now."

It's not as easy as it sounds, this being here now, but I'm working on it.  I've decided that after this long wait to be united with my children is over, I am going to eliminate grumbling and complaining from my vocabulary and do my best to be 100% present, invest 100%, and savor every moment to the fullest.  I know I'll be in a tailspin of new-ness and probably overwhelmed with the responsibility and day-to-day stuff of parenting 4 children, but I'm determined to focus on filling up their hearts with all the love and encouragement and confidence and self-esteem and skills and Jesus that they need to be whole people in this broken and unpredictable world.  We don't have any time to waste.

So, maybe my house will get messy.  And maybe we'll be late getting to places.  And maybe my children will show up in public with clothes that don't match sometimes.  But, those dear hearts of those will matter more than anything else to us.  We will laugh and take pictures and listen to one another.  We will cling so tightly to each other that there will be no room for gloom to sneak its way in--even on the sad and difficult days.  We will notice and talk and play and sing and tickle and watch them grow.  And at the end of every full day we will crash into bed and thank the Lord for the blessings we fight for every day.

This is our task.  To be present in every moment.  To savor every moment.  To invest in every moment.  Times 4.  And in the meantime, I'm practicing on my darling husband.  He's such a gift.  I hope he knows it.

Provisional Approval!

Celebrate!  We received "Provisional Approval" for our children's visas from USCIS today!  1...2...3...4! 4 visas ready and waiting to be printed as soon as the adoption is finalized. 

Here's what I think we have left:

• Provisional Approval should have been sent to the US Consulate in Rio also.
• Rio makes up a document called "Article 5" by the US and known as the "Acordo" by the Brazilians.
• Lino makes us a court appointment.
• Away we go to Brazil to meet our children!

Look how short that list is!  I can hardly believe all we've been through is down to 4 bullet points.  I'm not even willing to guess how long all of this will take, but I know we're closer than ever to being parents to four children hand-chosen to be our family by the same hands that created the universe! 

Surprise Blessings

You know, the longer we wait to meet our children, the more blessings God seems to pour into our lives.  Last night I went out to a birthday dinner with a group of ladies and ended up sitting next to a dear soul whom I had met shortly after we decided to adopt (over 3 years ago).  At that time she was waiting to adopt her daughter from China and we connected because of our mutual desire to become parents to far away children who needed our love.  Her daughter has been home with her for over a year and a half now and is a beautiful girl with a beautiful mother and a beautiful story!  Accross from me at the same table sat another woman touched by adoption AND by Brazil.  She worked teaching English in Northern Brazil for a year and spoke so lovingly about her three daughters, two of whom she had adopted.  And as if that weren't enough, right accross the table was another woman who spent time living all around South and Central America, and also has a heart for adoption.  She is a native English Speaker, raising a bilingual daughter with her Argentine husband.

Before I left to go downtown for this dinner, I was really feeling down in the dumps... at the bottom of a doozy of a loop on the emotional rollercoaster on which I seem to be living these days.  I called my dear husband and told him that I just wanted to stay home with the covers pulled over my head.  But that dear husband of mine encouraged me to go, knowing that it would lift me up.  And it did.  I caught myself thinking, "If we'd already left for Brazil, I would have missed meeting these amazing women."

It's impossible to know what else we need to learn, understand, experience, hear or become before we finally meet our children (and oh, how we long to meet them!), but every time a gem like this one pops up, it reminds me that I really can't know what the future will hold... what blessings or what surprises.  I just know that the big reveal will be well worth the wait, and I imagine it will erase most of it too.

Anticipation

Dear Maynara, Abraão Lucas, Luana, and Brayan,

I can hardly think about anything else but you lately, my loves! As it is now only a matter of weeks until we will be able to fly down and meet you, I find myself anticipating the union of our family more and more each day. It’s funny to think back almost six months to March when we first found out about you, and to think about all the many things that had to work to make us a family. Even when it was tough for us to wait for an answer from the judge, and even when I feared that the judge might say “no,” I tried to stay focused on you all, my loves, and tried trust in the knowledge that God would make sure we would be brought together as a family if He had planned it. And, boy, am I so happy that He did!

Even as I’m writing this letter to you, you probably don’t know anything about us yet, although we were told that you have been talking about families and are excited about the possibility of a family. I know when the time is right, Lino will come talk with you and he will be able to finally give you the gifts we prepared a few weeks ago for you: the photo books, the little stuffed elephants, and the shirts. (Can those silly little gifts really show you how much we love you!?) I daydream about that moment sometimes, wondering what each of you will think when you open the book for the first time to see the photos of us, your Mom and Dad. Or the pictures of your house here in Connecticut. Or the snapshots of Oscar, who I’m sure will be so happy to have you to play with when you get home!

But don’t worry, I’m trying not to romanticize that moment too much in my mind! In reality, I know you might be scared, too. I'm sure I would be a little scared if I were in your shoes! But I want you to know that it’s OK to be scared and excited at the same time. There are a lot of exciting things and a lot of new and unknown things just around the corner for all of us. The bottom line is that we’re going to be a family, and we’ll get through it all, fun times and tough times, together--no matter what.

A few nights ago I was looking at your photos as I lay in bed before falling asleep. Your Mom came in to bed after me and asked what I was doing. I told her “I’m just looking at the photos of our beautiful children.” She smiled and answered, “won’t it be nice to be able to peek in on them sleeping in their own beds once we're all home.”

Yes. Yes, it really will be.

Love,
Papai

More Perfect Provision

It's a big day in Perfect Provisionland. Not only are we the proud new owners of a beautiful 2000 Chrysler Town & Country (thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Fullton),

we also are in possession of our children's birth certificates and official referral documents.

Not to mention a decree from CEJA officially granting us permission to adopt our four children.

This is really happening!

Hearts a-pounding

We sure weren't expecting this!

But right after dinner, I found these beautiful photographs waiting for me in my inbox. Honestly, I've never seen more beautiful children. They've grown so much since 5 months ago when we first saw their pictures.

We're told that their "social mother said they are very curious and anxious about something to happen," but they haven't been told about their parents yet. The time must be just right so that we know we won't impose a stressful wait on them. That is a burden we must bear for them as their parents.

Soon, darlings, we're coming soon.

What next

During the last several months (OK, years) we've done a lot of wondering about "what's next." At this point, there's just a little bit of paperwork left before we travel to meet our children, and our "what's next" conversations almost always center around what it will be like when our family is finally all together. We have long conversations full of what I now call "mental nesting" where we try to figure out what the details of everyday life will be like, what sorts of expectations we'll have for our children, what will be important to us as a family, and how we'll convey all that to our children.

We're starting to gather the things we'll bring with us to Brazil, including special gifts for the children. We found a special locket for Maynara on Etsy. We want her to be able to hold it in her hands as a symbol of the importance of who she is and where she comes from, as well as our love for and dedication to her from now on. (These usually come with 3 interchangeable fronts, but the artist sent us 8!)  We also got her a nice journal and matching pencil case to be a safe place to record her thoughts and experiences as her whole life changes before her eyes.

We found a lovely, snuggly baby doll for Luana at PattycakeDoll.com, where they sell loads of multicultural dolls of all kinds. We hope that when she hugs it tight, it will still any fears or insecurities she may feel while her whole world is changing around her, and we hope it will remind her that her parents are always there to comfort her too.

Girls are easy to shop for, and we're still trying to think of just the right special gifts for our boys. Something that, when they put their hands on it, they can feel and remember who they are as individuals, in God, and as part of our family.

Another "what next" question is what to do with this blog. The purpose from the beginning has been to document the path God marked out for us to follow to our children, so that He can be glorified in the details and so that our children will have a record of all He did to bring us together. It's for them. However, soon we'll be traveling to Brazil and there are probably dozens (or hundreds) of faithful friends and family members who are going to want a front-row ticket to watch our family come together, and develop while we are away. This blog is probably the best way for us to do that, so I think its focus may shift slightly while we are away. But what about when we get back? What will its purpose be? I'd rather it not be a play-by-play mommy blog, because I feel like I'd be tempted to use too much of my energy on narrating our life. It will be more important for me to actively participate in every moment of this new life, but I'm not willing to give up this document--It's the first journal I've ever stuck to in my life, and I believe the recording of God's details has a way of making us notice them and live them more fully.

I know things will have to change here (as in every other corner of our lives), but I'm still not sure how they'll evolve. I've thought about writing letters to our children here. When we see God working in their lives, when we see them growing in special ways, or when we want to commemorate landmarks in their lives, we may write directly to them. I think that would keep me from the temptation of writing mere status-updates.

As with so much of what's next, I know enough to know that I have no idea what life will be like in another 4 or 6 weeks. But I'm planning on savoring every moment of it.

First present for our children

Last night we spent a few hours filling a box with photo books and other special gifts for our children. The photo books are what will introduce them to their new parents about 2 weeks before we travel to Brazil to meet them. We also included a little stuffed elephant for each child--did you know that no other land animal waits as long as the mama elephant to give birth to her babies? The elephant has been our adoption mascot for a while now. We've collected a shelf full of fuzzy pachyderms to give to our children. These little Hortons were sent along with a note telling the children that we have waited even longer than a mama elephant to meet them and that we love them so very much.

The box needed a little more filling, so we sent everyone a shirt from their Connecticut closet. Today James took the precious box to the post office and sent it off with an Express Mail sticker.

Weighing the box at home to print our postage online, I wondered how our children would know how much we love them from such a small, 4-pound box. I hope they sense that they are part of the family God chose for us all with great purpose and love.

Details

Knowing we're in the final stretch before going to Brazil to meet our children, but not knowing exactly when we will depart is a joyfully tense in-between. We are so thrilled that the judge has given us permission to come and adopt our beautiful children, and we are trying to think of all the details that will need to be accomplished before we go. In one sense, we feel as ready as we'll ever feel, but then again, there are probably things we should do, talk about, or get in order to be really ready.

So this weekend we went shopping. We hit Kohl's where there were some wonderful sales, then Old Navy, where we found some good deals on adorable clothes.

This is the most tangible our children have ever been to us--

"Which dress do you think Maynara would like?"

"Do you think this is too small for Brayan?"

"Luana probably should have something that isn't pink."

"Abraão Lucas will look so handsome in this."

It was so much fun to imagine our sweet ones in everything we chose. (Hoping it will fit, because we still don't have their exact sizes.)

The grandparents also picked up some beautiful wooden blocks at a friend's tag sale, so this weekend, we scrubbed them all and set them out in the sun to dry (thanks, Tio David!).

We're all in agreement

We are still elated thinking about the judge's decision to grant our petition and allow us to adopt our children from Brazil. Our minds are racing wondering what we need to do to get ready, and our hearts are "oh so happy," as James put it today.

We're not sure when we'll actually be leaving for Brazil to meet our children, because there's still a small mountain of paperwork to accomplish. Back in our post entitled Hope, we started to explain some of the tangle of red tape that needed to be straightened out before everything can be legal, final, and just as we desire it to be. Well, three weeks after that posting, we understand the process better, and I'm going to spell it out here so that the record of our journey is as accurate as we can make it for our children, so that everyone who reads this can pray that God will carry us through these next few steps, and so that anyone who follows behind us on this path will have a better idea of what to expect. I'm working this out as I go, so things may not turn out the way we expect them to (they almost never do), but here's what I've deduced so far:

• Judge decided to grant our petition!!!
• We start working on our USCIS I-800 application, and all the documentation that goes with it. Lino has to get copies of the kids' birth certificates, so we asked him to get more photos and info about clothes/shoe sizes while is at their home.
• CEJA creates a document called an acordo, which is an agreement between the Judge, CEJA, and the US Department of State
• Until very recently (a couple weeks ago) no one knew who, from the US Department of State would sign the acordo, since the Hague Treaty changed all the rules. Seems like it's almost all sorted out (thanks to another AWAA family getting their acordo before us) now and we should be able to be one of the first families to creep through the new channel.
• When the acordo is all signed, a Letter of Invitation (LOI) is generated
• A copy of that letter comes to us so we can get visas, a quick 2-day process
• The letter itself goes to the US consulate in Rio because they will be the ones to issue visas to our children. (Visas that make them automatically US citizens when we arrive home.)
• USCIS approves our I-800 application which ensures visas for each of the children
• Meanwhile, Lino makes our court appointments and we make our travel arrangements

So, it's still a pretty complicated process, but until the judge gave us her YES, it was all paused. We've pressed play, and we'll make it to the bottom of the paperwork list and to Brazil as soon as we can.