I've said this to several friends who have asked me lately how I'm doing: I think the adrenaline I started running on in October just before we left for Brazil finally wore off. And it wore off all of a sudden and without much warning. I've read that the effects of adrenaline on the human body are only supposed to last a few minutes, but this must have been a supernatural adrenaline. The side effects of 5 months of supernatural adrenaline are (in case you ever need to know) exhaustion, iritability, grumpiness, low motivation at work and home and senseless arguements with loved ones.
All of this is my clever way of confessing that I've not been a very tender mommy during the last couple weeks. Everyone tells me this is a normal part of life and motherhood, but I think I can do better. Fact is, it's not easy being a mother. And it's not easy keeping 4 very individual individuals clean, happy and fed while at the same time trying to teach them compassion, empathy, respect, obedience, togetherness, patience and manners.
Loving them is easy. Being nice to them sometimes isn't. But they deserve the best, so we keep trying.
On the drive home from a weekend getaway, we pledged to keep our patience and respect levels high and our grumpy levels low. We asked the children to work extra hard on following our four family rules: Respect, Obey, Ask Permission and Stick Together. I think it was a talk that Supernanny would have had with us if she'd happened by our corner of CT.
So far, so good. Sunday afternoon we took a family hike through the beautiful spring air and got some ice cream on the way home. I managed to keep my cool almost all day today (except when Brayan was sticking his face in the dog's bowl while Oscar was trying to eat his dinner) and I feel measurably less haggered now that the only sounds in the house are the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer all humming away while little ones sleep soundly in their little beds.
Just need a little more grace to keep it going.
1 comment:
You paint such an honest, practical picture, Kim. You are definitely not alone in your struggles and feelings! I find solace in knowing that my failings are an example to teach my child how I will always struggle and need grace, yet always learn and change and grow; and with each day, He makes "all things new". :) Thank you for sharing, my friend.
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